Monday, October 20, 2008
Has actively living a positive life changed things for me? Has my life improved? Am I happier? The answer to these questions is a resounding yes!
This is not an easy path I have chosen ... some days it is a real challenge to embrace a positive attitude ... but already I can see the improvements and these inspire me to continue on.
So what has changed? Basically the way I look at things has changed.
Take housework for example. For years I have resented being the only one attempting to clean so I just didn't do it and anyway cleaning always got in the way of the things I wanted to do. Over the last few years FlyLady has been teaching me to look at housework in a different light and not to think I could do it all at once however the lesson I could never grasp was that cleaning was a way of blessing my family. Now blessing sounds too much like god bothering to me and not a concept I felt comfortable with. Since leaving work I have daily been cleaning the house but only in the mornings and only in managable amounts, this way I don't get over tired, frustrated or negative about it. It took just over a week to clean the kitchen this way and the op shop received a vast array of kitchen things that were just cluttering up my house. My house is starting to sparkle ... my mum is impressed ... and I feel lighter with each area cleaned and decluttered. I no longer feel resentful and have come to understand that cleaning is a gift I am giving to myself and my family and I finally understand that is what FlyLady has been talking about with her blessings. Dear Hear and the Princess are happier and have actually started to help me with the cleaning without me having to nag or complain because the sparkle of the house is rubbing off on them too. So I have gone from a resentful cleaner to a happy, positive and joyous Domestic Goddess and it feels great!
Actively living a positive life has also made me happier in my relationship. I now focus on all the wonderful things that combine to make up my Dear Heart rather than getting bogged down in something that pisses me off. That is not to say I don't get pissed off rather it means that I can overcome those feelings quicker and don't hold on to them so that they can't continue to poison our relationship. Dear Heart is feeling the benefits of this and is responding in a likewise positive manner. The Princess is also blossoming with the increased calm and love flowing around here.
Actively living a positive life has meant my physical health is on the improve as well. I have taken up riding my deadly treadly again and I'm not struggling as badly and have learnt to embrace the burn in my thighs and the soreness in my bum.
When I started karate it was because we went as a family and I was really just trailing behind the other two. I didn't really take it seriously and I never expected to be any good. In the last few weeks I have become focused on what I want to achieve and have made an effort in each class to do my best and it is amazing the difference that makes. I'm hoping to grade to my next belt in November and have even set my sights on the belt beyond that. Now that is a definate change!
I have taken up belly dancing again and I love it sooooooo much. It makes me feel womanly and sensual. I am really happy when I dance. On Saturday night I went to a Belly Dance Bazaar with the Princess. We have both been inspired to practice hard so that we can perform next year. When I perform I expect you to come watch and support me and be blown away by just how gorgeous I am ... hahahahahahaha
Mentally I feel great. Relaxed. Young. I am sleeping better and wake up eager to start my day. I am going to continue this journey of actively living a positive life because the benefits are boundless. I'm off to stretch and work out what I need for my application to go back to uni next year. Ciao. Talk soon
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Last night I went belly dancing for the first time in months and had a great time ... I love belly dancing ... when I got home I found this note:
For those of you who can't read 7yo it says "In playroom not coming out because mum wrecked my thingy." Even though I laughed (not in front of her) I am very impressed with this note and I'll explain why but first let me give you some background.
The Princess has some anger and emotional issues and at times gets incredibly distraught and usually I cop the brunt of her melt downs. She also likes to conduct experiments in the bathroom making potions etc. I am currently working hard at cleaning the house and this week it has been the bathroom. Last week she set up some leaves in a bottle with powder and goodness knows what else and left a note asking us not to "rec" it. This week on my cleaning frenzy I moved the experiment from the bathroom to the bin. It took her a few days to realise what I had done and rather than have a melt down she wrote the note and lay down in her playroom for a while. She was over her anger by the time I got home.
I am impressed with this because writing a note about how she feels is one of the ways we have been trying to get her to deal with issues. Best thing ... I didn't get screamed at for 45 mins! A break through I'd say. Yay!
I'll try posting another update when I have some alone time. hahahahahahaha
Friday, September 5, 2008
Sunday, August 31, 2008
To say I'm a bit messy would be an understatement ... I just seem to have better things to do than cleaning a house. Now that I don't have to haul myself into work each day I have vowed to get this place clean ... I started on the kitchen last week and it is now beautiful and sparkling clean ... sent heaps of stuff to the op shop ... cleaned out every cupboard ... wiped down shelves etc ... now I just have to spread that out to the rest of the house ... hahahahaha ... the laundry is next as the most amazing amount of crap gets shoved in there.
And in amongst being the domestic goddess I am I have actually been making ATC's and trying my hand at inchies and a pendant ... the pendant was a dismal failure so that can be relegated to the rubbish bin with no hard feelings. Inchies are stupidly small ... 1" x 1" squares ... and I haven't finished so no pictures yet. However I will show you some of my ATC's.
The yahoo group arttechniquesatcs runs an Artist of the Month (AOM) swap. This month the artist is Misty Mawn whom I admire very much and must apologise to her profusely for "murdering" her style. Here are my attempts for this swap:
The yahoo group ATCOZ is running a bear swap. This will be my first swap with this group and I am a little nervous ... I hope they like these bears. I have been carrying around this bear magazine for about 15+ years because it is just so odd ... like a VOGUE but for bears .. with fashion tips, horoscopes, Dear Abby, etc ... very cute. I transfered the images using Opals and I'm really happy with how they turned out.
I broke my needle felting needles last week so haven't been able to play with those ... boo hoo ... and looking for something else to try I was inspired by Ruby & Lay Hoon to try Zentangles. Here are some of my efforts.
So that is it for now ... I have to go be Mum and wife now ... ciao
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
When reading catalogues and magazines I have now started looking for interesting shapes because I like this magazine silhouette technique ... thanks Sarah.
My Dear Heart thinks this one reflects exactly what my last few weeks have been like! I really enjoyed painting with a plastic fork ... great for texture.
Now this page I am happy with and feel it is complete. I'll be heading back to the Collage Potpourri lists again to do other projects.
And finally we had to go back to our taped pages and alter them. I really liked my taped page and wish I had ignored this bit of homework. This is what I have done so far and I am not happy with it and will come back to it at a later stage.
Over the weekend I am going to try and catch up with my fellow Soul Journallers blogs as it has been a while since I popped in on them.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Sarah has shown me that I don't have to panic about perfection. I didn't worry about what I put down on the paper because I knew that this was not going to be the finished product. I felt free to try different scraps, covering up one layer with another scrap if I wasn't happy. There was no negative self talk while doing this task just lots of fun.
OMG! Whilst writing this I have received the most tragic news. My beautiful 21 yo nephew Russell took his life today. I have spent the last hour on the phone talking to my mum and brothers and sisters. I will be offline for a while as I will be heading down to be with my family tomorrow.
I can't write anymore so I'll post the pictures of my painted page and my family.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I also found this postcard at the Princess's school yesterday and thought it related to our soul armour and maybe even our houses we are now working on.
Monday, July 21, 2008
I have to find a flower to press in my journal ... after 10 years of drought and being the middle of winter I have no flowers in my garden and I've peeked into the neighbours gardens and there are none there either ... boo hoo. But looking on the bright side I'm now off to buy a bunch of flowers ... oh beautiful brightness to banish the winter gloom.
Shock, gasp, horror ... I have been doing actual cleaning today in between reading blogs and sanding my tape pages ... hahahaha. Actually I'm really enjoying visiting my fellow Soul Journal bloggers and getting to know them better ... they are a generous, funny, inspirational, creative, amazing people ... I'm glad I am taking this journey with them.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Today I had to journal with the prompt "I forgot to tell you ..." I really appreciated this task because it allowed me to deal with an issue that has been bothering me and be honest about it and how I feel and helped clarify what I plan to do about it. Thank you Sarah for this task. The fun part was knowing that it would be completely covered in tape so no one but me will ever know what is under there. Until I did a search of the house I never knew we had so many different types of tape in the house ... Dear Heart had a stash in the garage that I raided ... he is far neater than I so his tapes were easy to find ... what they are used for I'll never know but they have now been appropriated for ART ... YAY! hahahahaI have always been a little hesitant to journal honestly for fear that someone else may accidently or purposefully read what I have written and use it against me. Through these tasks I am learning that I don't need to be so concerned because I can always alter it into something else. This has been a very liberating lesson to learn!
At the back of my Soul Journal I have created a section called "Thankful". This is something I recall from an Oprah show ... at least I think it was Oprah. Every day I will write down at least 3 things I have been thankful for that day and I will do this even on the worst days ... I suppose it is like looking for the silver lining ... some days it will be easy and other days it will be hard however I think looking for the positive each day will increase my ability to cope with what life throws at me.
And now I am going to go work on some technique pages for the FAT book while I pretend to do housework. Later on I am going to spend some time on all the other Soul Journaler's blogs. I'd recommend you go have a look too.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
POP ... deflated, hurt and resentful.
We had a bit of a tiff.
While trying to go to sleep I mulled over this issue and know that it is not what Dear Heart said but my reaction to it that is the problem. My self confidence is a fragile thing and any time I perceive a threat to it a monster rears its ugly head and attacks ... it is horrible and does nothing to increase my confidence or improve my relationship.
I now all the theory about changing the negative talk that goes on in my head ... replacing it with positive affirmations etc., but in practice I never seem to actually achieve this. I make a start but quickly fall back into bad habits and it is so easy to blame outside influences for the regression rather than admit that I have become too comfortable with these negative thoughts and feelings ... too afraid to let them go.
What am I afraid of !?! Why, when I know what must be done, can I not leap ahead and value myself?
Ahhhh ... so this is what my armour is for? To make me look honestly at the things that keep me following a path that traps me in self destruction. To help me recognise those things that I already have and what I may need to set me on the path to attain self confidence and freedom to be me without fear. To protect me from myself as well as from others.
The first step is the hardest and the journey has begun.