Shattered & Lost

Firstly I want to say thank you to everyone for their kind thoughts and words during this sad time for my family ... I appreciate the warmth more than you could possibly imagine.

I feel shattered and lost and an overwhelming sense of sadness. Last week I wanted to take care of everyone else. This week I just want to be alone to curl up with my sorrow, to cry the flood of tears that threatens to drown me. I realise I don't see my family enough ... don't tell them how much I love them or how wonderful they are.

I feel frustrated by aspects of my life that don't fulfill me eg my job but I don't know what to do to change these things and my brain feels too fuzzy to work it all out.

Thanks again everyone

Soul Journal - Home Sweet Home

I'm glad that the task of the last few days has been based around our home and our family as we have been very family focused here. On Thursday my Princess received an academic achievement award for her work in first semseter and on Friday it was my Dear Heart's birthday so on Thursday night we went out to dinner to celebrate ... love doing that! On Friday, after being dragged to karate where the floor is freezing!, we had cake and opened pressies. There is something beautiful about giving a pressie that means so much to someone you love that they cry. Yesterday we spent the day in Geelong watching a karate tournament ... incredibly amazing and incredibly cold. Today I got to play again. YAY!

After drawing our houses we had to collage over some of the drawing ... hahahaha I just couldn't stop!

Sarah has shown me that I don't have to panic about perfection. I didn't worry about what I put down on the paper because I knew that this was not going to be the finished product. I felt free to try different scraps, covering up one layer with another scrap if I wasn't happy. There was no negative self talk while doing this task just lots of fun.

OMG! Whilst writing this I have received the most tragic news. My beautiful 21 yo nephew Russell took his life today. I have spent the last hour on the phone talking to my mum and brothers and sisters. I will be offline for a while as I will be heading down to be with my family tomorrow.

I can't write anymore so I'll post the pictures of my painted page and my family.